


Chocolate Chip Forgiveness

by Marie_Phantom



Series: Tumbleweed (Blowing In The Wind) [6]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Baking As Therapy, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Eating Disorders, Loki Needs a Hug, Miscarriage, Multi, Rape Recovery, Thor Is Not Stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-26
Updated: 2014-08-26
Packaged: 2018-02-14 22:53:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2206053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marie_Phantom/pseuds/Marie_Phantom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki and Bucky bake 'I'm sorry I tried to take over the world/I'm sorry I tried to kill you' cookies.</p><p>They get mixed responses from the rest of the team.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chocolate Chip Forgiveness

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [Chocolate Chip Forgiveness](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3158456) by [ogawaryoko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ogawaryoko/pseuds/ogawaryoko)



> Yet another fic in my Tumbleweed verse. I write these as they come to me, but I do have a vague plot somewhere.

To absolutely no ones surprise, Steve can actually cook, and he can cook pretty well. Whilst sharing an apartment with Bucky, back in the day, he was often too sick or weak to hold down a stable job, and so he was often left at home. Whilst Bucky worked, he would cook for him, so that Bucky had nice to come home to. And yes, even thought they did have to boil everything, Steve still made it taste nice. So Steve can cook, and everyone in Avengers Tower eagerly awaits Steve's night, so that they can be treated to whatever delicacy Steve whips up for them.

Bucky, to everyones surprise, can also cook. This was borne out of wanting to do something nice for Steve, and so on the few days that Steve was at an art class or working, and Bucky had the day off (or he had been fired again), he would pluck whatever things out of the cupboard that he could, and experiment till he made something that tasted divine, even if it looked horrible. Steve survived the winter of '37 that way, when he was laid out with pneumonia so bad the priest gave him the last rights, and Bucky shovelled broth so thick and rich into his mouth that Steve could practically feel it grafting itself to his bones. Bucky likes living in the 21st century, because there is more variety, and he can experiment with food to his hearts content without breaking the bank.

Loki, if everyone cared enough to be surprised, can cook as well. Making potions and tinctures is similar to cooking, and when he was younger and had been excluded from games and playing without Thor noticing, he had gone down to the kitchens and helped the cooks make whatever was being offered on the table that day. Potion making had come easier to him as an adult because of this, and he had only had a few mishaps (he had once blown a hole through the palace to the outside, and had spent 4 months in isolation with only his mother for company). So whilst Loki has only basic access to magical plants and substances on Midgard, he enjoys the freedom that cooking gives him. But as he is currently persona no grata amongst the Avengers, even after being cleared, he only cooks for Thor, and occasionally Steve and Bucky when they come to visit.

Loki was sitting by the breakfast island on his floor, flicking through a cooking magazine when Bucky pulled up a chair and sat down next to him. They often didn't speak, but sat quietly next to each other, allowing the other to draw strength from their presence. 

When you had been as broken as they had, sometimes words were not enough.

Loki bumped shoulders gently with Bucky, and continued to flick through the magazine. He got to the sweets section, and as he turned the page, Bucky put his hand on a page to stop him.

"Wait." Bucky said, and Loki obligingly let Bucky examine the page. The cookies displayed did look indulgent, he admitted to himself.

"I remember making things like this, for Steve." Bucky said, still not looking at Loki, but reading the recipe on the page. Loki raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"I thought you wouldn't have been able to afford the ingredients." Loki said. Bucky gave a half shrug and a crooked smile.

"We couldn't really. Not back then. But if I didn't go out and we skimped on the heating in the summer, we could sometimes afford sugar, and real butter. I enjoyed those cookies."

"I imagine that anything sweet would have been glorious back then." Loki said, smoothing out the magazine and trying to remember if they had the necessary ingredients in the cupboards. He was in a cooking mood.

"It was." Bucky sounded wistful, and Loki remembered that Bucky was still on a controlled diet. Having spent years being fed intravenously, he had spectacularly vomited the first time he had tried solid food in the Tower. Bruce, in a moment of pure wisdom, had started Bucky on a liquid diet first, to great results. There were so many different varieties of protein shakes, that Bucky looked forward to each new meal, rather than the faint dread he had felt when he first started learning to eat again. But it would be a while before Bucky was stable enough to eat solid food.

Loki himself had had trouble eating when he had first come to Midgard, and during the days he had been here, had not eaten a thing, for fear of poison. When he had started eating again, it had been grey mush during the time had had spent captive in S.H.I.E.L.D, which had given him a running start when it came to reclaiming his body. He could eat normally now, but he still remembered the vicious stomach cramps he had when he first started.

Loki stood up and went to the cupboards, rifling through them and extracting the ingredients that he had. He had everything apart from the chocolate chips, and clicked his fingers, summoning a bag from the nearest floor (Clint would wonder when he had eaten the entire bag, not realising it had been stolen for cookie making).

"Fancy helping?" Loki asked, taking out a bowel. Bucky hummed in reply and stood up, taking the apron Loki tossed at him and rolling up his sleeves.

They didn't talk as they cooked, but their's was a camaraderie that often didn't need words. They soon had cookies baking in the oven, and sat down together to watch whatever was on television. 

"Something smells good." Thor said, coming through the door of the apartment. He was sweating lightly, and was rubbing a towel across his face. He had just come down from a sparing session with Steve (who was the only person Thor fought with without the worry that he would break), and was wearing a tank top and loose trousers. Loki looked at him and smiled softly.

"Come here." He said. Thor obligingly sat down, and then sighed softly when Loki trailed a blue hand along the back of his neck. Bucky ignored them, focusing on Steve who had followed Thor.

"Hey Bucky." Steve said, smiling softly. He leaned down and pecked Bucky on the forehead, which Bucky squirmed happily at. "You been cooking?"

"We made cookies."

"Nice." Steve grinned. He leaned towards the kitchen and sniffed deeply. "They smell great."

"The recipe on Midgard are very precise." Loki said. His blue hand was still resting on Thor's neck, and Thor was leaning back, smiling softly at the upside-down image he and of Loki. "There doesn't seem to be a lot of room for error."

"Well," Steve said, sitting down next to Bucky and allowing Bucky to sling an arm over his stomach, "I don't think that they were meant to be followed exactly. You can experiment."

"With food?" Loki asked, frowning.

"Yeah, with food. There's so much variety nowadays that you may as well have fun."

Loki hummed, and thought of the possibilities. He was still thinking when the timer went off and he moved to the kitchen, taking out the tray and sliding the cookies onto a cooling rack. Thor came up behind him and reached for a cookie before his hand was slapped.

"Not until they're cool." Loki said.

"But they smell so good!" Thor whined.

"You'll burn your mouth."

Thor huffed and wound his arms around Loki, cuddling him close. Loki squawked and smacked Thor's arms.

"Get off me, you beast! You stink and you're all wet!"

"Only for you, my love!" Thor grinned and buried his face into Loki's neck. Bucky laughed from the sofa and Steve grinned at them, happy to see them joke around. 

"Go. And. Have. A. Shower!" Loki said, punctuating each word with a soft smack on Thor's arms. Thor laughed and released Loki, walking to the bathroom and stripping off his top. As soon as Thor was out of sight, Loki quickly snaffled a cookie.

"Hypocrite." Steve said from the sofa, standing up and hauling Bucky up with him. They walked to the kitchen, each one grabbing a cookie. Steve took a bite and then closed his eyes in bliss.

"God, these are good. They're like the ones we used to make, remember Bucky?"

Bucky nodded but didn't speak, mouth full of soft, chewy cookie. 

"I can hear you chewing from here!" Thor called from the bathroom. Loki giggled softly.

"You better hurry up, or there won't be any left for you when you get out!" he called, and grabbed another cookie.

5 minutes later Thor strode out in only a towel, and grabbed the neared cookie from the rack. He took a big bite, and then gave Loki a closed lipped smile. He swallowed and then said "They taste like the ones Mother used to make.'

"Frigga?" Bucky asked, confused.

"Yes, Mother. His birth mother, my adopted one." Loki clarified, drying Thor with a wave of his hand and slowly tearing a cookie to pieces. 

"For a Queen she was a surpisingly good cook." Thor said, leaning against the counter and continuing to eat cookies. Bucky and Steve had made a lot, but the way they were going through them, there wouldn't be any left soon.

When it came time for Bucky and Steve to leave, Loki split the cookies and put Bucky's into a clear bag for them to take away. They said there goodbyes, and went back to their floor, whilst Loki and Thor finished their own batch, and decided the finish the movie Bucky and Loki had been watching earlier.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Bucky had taken to baking cookies whenever he came back from a therapy session, no matter what had happened or what and been discussed. There was something nice about making biscuits that allowed his mind to go blank, only focusing on the cookie dough. 

It was pleasantly soothing. 

But because he was not the only one going to therapy, he often found himself baking with Loki, who had a similar therapy plan. Sometimes it was Bucky with red eyes, kneading the dough ferociously as if there was a H.Y.D.R.A agent in it and he was personally punishing them, and sometimes it was Loki, softly patting the mixture as it caring for one of his lost children. But nevertheless, soon there were always cookies in both apartments, so much so that they were often left out for others to snack on.

Tony was sitting with Bucky, slowly going over a series of exercises for Bucky's new, lighter arm, when he spotted the latest batch of cookies.

"You bake?" he asked Bucky in surprise. Bucky nodded, concentrating on squeezing his hand around the rubber ball.

"So I take it that this isn't something new?"

"Huh?" Bucky asked, looking up. He saw to where Tony was looking and said "Oh, yeah! I sometimes cooked for Steve before the war, and there's so much variety here, I thought I may as well experiment."

Tony didn't ask whether he could have one, but strode over and took one. He ate it, and closed his eyes in enjoyment.

"Shit, those were good." He murmured. 

"What batch were they?" Bucky asked, dropping the ball and coming over.

"Peanut butter."

Bucky picked on up and but into it, enjoying the bust of flavour over his tongue. "Yeah, these are the good ones."

Tony looked hopefully at Bucky. "You mind if I take some to Pepper?" 

Bucky grinned and shook his head, pleasantly surprised at how much Tony enjoyed them. Tony gave a small whoop and grabbed a spare plate, shovelling half onto it. 

"Seriously, those cookies were so good. You have magic fingers." Tony said, striding back to the sofa. Bucky followed.

"Not really. I've been cooking with Loki and I kind of enjoy it, so it's just practice."

Tony froze and slowly turned back to Bucky. "You cook with Loki?" he asked lowly. Bucky frowned in confusion.

"Yeah. We started together."

Tony sat down with a huff and ran a hand through his tousled hair. "And none of you have been poisoned yet?"

Bucky pulled his lips back in a grimace. Bucky had only known Loki to be a good man, not as the others had known him, and so it was hard to reconcile the image that the Avengers (minus Thor and Steve) had of Loki with the man he was now.

"He wouldn't do that."

Tony snorted. "Whatever you say, Bucky Bear. Not, sit your ass down and continue exercising. I want to see how dexterous your new fingers are."

 

 

*******************

 

 

That night, after sharing the cookies with Pepper, they lay in bed whilst Tony stared at the ceiling and thought about Loki. Pepper knew him well enough that she also wasn't sleeping, waiting instead for Tony to talk about whatever he was thinking of.

"Bucky says Loki isn't that bad a man." Tony said finally, tapping his fingers into his scar in the middle of his chest.

(He occasionally missed his arc reactor).

Pepper huffed a light breath and rolled over, putting her head on Tony's shoulder. 

"I have actually talked to him, you know." She said. She felt Tony tense.

"Without me?"

"Yeah. He's actually kind of nice."

"Nice." Tony said flatly. "The man tried to take over the world and destroy mankind, and you call him nice."

Pepper slapped him lightly on the shoulder. "Tony, you were there for that trial."

"So he was coerced, he wasn't exactly remorseful." Tony sat up, dragging Pepper with him.

"He is actually trying to make up for what he did. He just doesn't make huge gestures doing it."

Tony frowned at Pepper in the darkness. "What do you mean?"

Pepper sighed. "You know the children's orphanage that was almost shut down due to poor building quality?" Tony nodded. "Loki was the one that stabilised the whole building, made it safe again."

Tony bit his lip in thought. He lay back down in silence and continued to think. Just before he drifted off to sleep he heard Pepper say "He is trying Tony. Maybe you should too."

 

 

******************

 

 

Tony let himself in onto Thor's floor when Thor wasn't there, in order to talk to Loki without Thor interfering. He found Loki in the kitchen, slowly stirring cookie dough in a bowel whilst he stared out of the window. He obviously hadn't heard Tony come in, and so he jumped when Tony cleared his throat.

"Easy there Genie, I'm not here to hurt you."

Loki set down the bowel and looked at Tony through narrowed eyes. "Clever of you to come whilst Thor isn't here." Loki kept the island in the kitchen firmly between himself and Tony. Tony shrugged.

"The man isn't exactly easy to lose, and he has the same routine during the week. And since you haven't moved from this floor since the trial, easy enough to come when Big, Blond and Beautiful wasn't here."

Loki raised an eyebrow. "Big, Blond and Beautiful."

"Weeeeeellll," Tony rubbed his chin, "I suppose that could also include Steve, but in this case, it's your brother/boyfriend that it applies to."

There was a silence, whilst the two men stared at each other, before Loki huffed in annoyance and said "So was there actually a reason you have come here, or should I read your mind to find out?"

Tony looked at Loki sharply. "Can you actually do that?"

Loki sneered. "Do you want to find out?"

"Nope." Tony said quickly, popping the 'p'. "I actually came because you seemed to have won over Pepper, as well as Mr and Mr 1940's."

"Miss Potts is a very likeable person." Loki said, picking up the mixing bowl and starting to ladle the cookies into moulds.

"She's great, but she also wants me to get to know you."

Loki frowned. "And are you doing this at the urging of Pepper, or of your own free will?"

"Bit of both, really. You haven't actively tried to kill us, so that's a point in your favour. Plus, Bucky said you can make come bitchin' cookies, and I for one am not going to pass those up."

"Ah, I see your plan!" Loki said, whirling around. "Your only here for my food!"

Tony grinned. "There's a saying here 'The way to a man's heart is through his stomach'. So come one Loki," Tony patted his belly, "feed me!"

 

 

*****************  
  


 

Tony rolled into bed with Pepper that night, and groaned when he felt his stomach shift. Pepper snorted with laughter at him and grinned when Tony said sleepily "Loki really is a nice guy. And his cookies are to die for!"

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

When Bucky baked cookies in his own kitchen, Natasha often joined him. They would speak in Russian, which none of the others could understand, and often it ended with Bucky sobbing softly into his arms, Natasha holding him up whilst bearing the brunt of Bucky's apologies. Bucky apologised constantly, to everyone, even when he hadn't done anything to them. But so great was his guilt, that when he got in that state all he could do was see the wrongs he had done and try to right them. Natasha could only wait for Steve to appear and take Bucky gently to their room, and then she would go to her own husband and allow him to rub her shoulders while she stared blankly out the window.

Bucky enjoyed Natasha's company, and would often try to get Loki and Natasha to talk, but it was a mixed bag, because Loki was guilty about bringing up Natasha's past, and Natasha hated Loki for what he did to Clint. 

But eventually, there came a day when Bucky and Loki were baking homemade bread on Steve's floor, and Natasha wandered in. Loki froze, fingers deep in dough, whilst Bucky grinned.

"Natalia!" he called, wiping his fingers clean and coming over to hug her. She returned it, but kept an eye in Loki, who was now pounding the bread with vigour. She glared at Bucky, who grinned unrepentant and motioned to where he had set out Natasha's own dough.

"I'm glad you could join us." Bucky said, turning back towards his work station.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world." Natasha replied, grinning at Bucky and keeping Loki in the corner of her eye. Loki's shoulders were tense, and he didn't look at either of them.

Natasha and Bucky chatted in Russian for a while, before Bucky wiped his hands and put his loaf in the oven. He stood up and then looked at them, suddenly serious. 

"I'm going to leave the two of you now to chat, and when I come back, I want there to be no bad blood between you." He nodded, and set off towards the doors so he could go and find Steve. He needed Steve at that moment, because for all the false confidence he may exude, he still needed Steve at his back to hold him up.

Both Natasha and Loki watched Bucky leave, and there was silence before Natasha said "He didn't even try subtle."

Loki snorted and went back to his bread. He continued to knead and saw Natasha do the same. 

It was an uncomfortable silence. Both didn't want to be the one to speak first, but both knew that something needed to be said. Finally, Loki licked his lips and said "I apologise for calling you a mewling quim."

Natasha looked at him. "It's the most creative insult I've been called."

"Nevertheless," Loki continued, still not looking at her, "I was raised to be a gentlemen, and I should never have called you that."

Natasha gave Loki a small smile. "It doesn't really matter, I mean, I got you in the end."

"Indeed you did." Loki finished pounding his dough and placed it on a tray, ready for baking. He divided it into 3 pieces, and plaited it, tying the ends into a knot. He placed the tray into the oven and dusted off his hands. "I would never have seen that plan coming."

"That was the point." Natasha continued to knead for a while before turing to Loki and saying "You're still on shaky ground."

Loki gave her a grim smile. "I'm surprised I'm on any ground at all."

"You turned my husband into your own personal yes man. He still has nightmares about it." Loki didn't say anything.

Natasha finished kneading and carved lines into her dough, sliding out a baking tray and placing it on there. She slid the tray into the oven alongside the other loaves and wiped her hands.

"You're not forgiven." She said, turning to face Loki. Loki looked her in the eye, and Natasha saw just how far the self-loathing went. But she was firmly on the side of her husband, and she knew that if she was going to get anything close to a friendship with Loki, she needed to be open and honest. Not something she was especially good at, but at least she sad she had tried.

"You still tried to take over Earth, and whilst you may have been coerced into doing so, you have a lot of blood on your hands. You enslaved my husband, and until he starts talking to you, I will be cordial but not friendly."

Loki blinked at her slowly, then nodded. He understood. He didn't look as Natasha as she left, but instead went straight to the drinks cabinet, pulling out the strongest bottle of vodka that it held and drinking directly from the bottle.

When Bucky came back later, Loki was passed out on the sofa, the empty bottle clutched loosely in his fist. Bucky shook his head and laid a blanket over him, before taking out the completed loaves. He wrapped Natasha's in greaseproof paper and went back out to give it to her.

 

 

****************

 

 

That night, when Clint complemented Natasha on the bread their sandwiches were made from, she gave him a small grin, and didn't tell him who she had made it with.

Some things were better left unsaid.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Bruce had never seen Loki as a threat, because he remembered that the Hulk had done to Loki in the Tower.

So he was very surprised to see a plate of brownies with a note stuck to them saying "I know monsters. You are not one." He smiled, knowing who it was from, and picked up a brownie to take a large bite. He could feel the Other Guy grumbling in his head, but he ignored Him, and ate the brownies one by one in front of the TV, watching  _Jersey Shore_.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Nick Fury did not like to be caught unawares, especially since he was officially dead. So he was very surprised when he got back to hotel room after a night conversing with Hill to find Bucky Barnes sitting on his bed, a covered dish next to him.

"Should I be worried?" He asked, closing the door and pointing the gun in his hand at Bucky's head. He knew that Barnes could disarm him before he pulled the trigger, but the weight was a safety blanket for him.

"No. I brought you cookies." Bucky offered the dish to Fury, who eyed it like it was an unexploded bomb.

"Yeah, I heard about this." Fury shuffled past Bucky and unzipped his hoody, taking it off and stretching his shoulders. "You and Loki trying to bribe the Avengers into liking you."

Bucky frowned at his back. "It's not bribery. We're trying to say sorry."

"From what I get of the man, Loki doesn't say sorry." Fury snorted, remembering his brief conversation with the man on the Helicarrier. Ultimate Power, his ass.

Bucky shrugged and took of the cling film over the dish. He took out one of the cookies and ate it. They smelled delicious, and Fury's stomach rumbled before he could stop it.

"They're not poisoned." 

"That's not very reassuring."

"Your loss. They really are very nice."

"Fine." Fury strode over and snatched up a cookie, cramming the whole thing into his mouth in a fit of pique. Despite himself, he closed his eyes at the taste and sat down slowly next to Bucky, savouring the taste. "Damn, that's good."

Bucky grinned and shoved the dish into Fury's lap, standing up and grabbing at carton of low mien that had been sitting on the desk by the door. Fury hadn't noticed when he came in, his attention grabbed by the assassin sitting on his bed. The TV wasn't turned on, but they stared at the screen together, both eating. 

They didn't need to speak. Like with Loki, sometimes words weren't really necessary.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

On some days, Loki and Bucky baked together in a different kitchen, one rarely frequented by the Avengers. 

They manipulated dough, pounded maize and sieved flour.

They talked about unspeakable things. 

The cookies remained delicious.

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually meant to be quite short, but it kind of ran away from me and wrote itself.


End file.
